It’s easy to become trapped, when you’re living with chronic pain and/or chronic illness into thinking it’s your fault. Or into thinking you’re a burden on your friends and family. Or into thinking that life would be better for everyone without out (there comes that depression and anxiety we’ve discussed before).
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I’m not religious, or particularly spiritual (however, may the force be with you all – yes the new movie comes out next week!!!). That being said you are where you are for a reason. It may not be a good or a fair one, but still here you are. Personally, I’ve flipped my view and it has helped me a lot. If I hadn’t had chronic pain, I would probably never have thought about going back to school to get a Masters in Counselling Psychology to become a therapist. I want to help other people deal with the emotional consequences of their chronic pain. I.e, I want to help people like me. A reason. Not everyone’s reason may be so clear but trying to find one will help you forgive yourself.
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The other proven way to forgive yourself, is to repeat some daily mantras, until you believe them. “It is not my fault.” “I forgive myself.” “i am loved.” “I am not a burden.” Basically any that you can think of that fit your situation or help you feel better. It’s not just saying these though, it’s believing them. You have to believe them in order for mantras to work. Whether you say them out loud, or just in your head, try them out. (This can be applied for a lot more than chronic pain and chronic illness, there are mantras for everything). If you’re having trouble coming up with some on your own, the internet is a wonderful thing full of many. Same with some of those Apps I’ve mentioned in previous posts.
Image from: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2017/09/how-to-forgive-yourself/
Finally, talk to someone about how your feeling. It can be a close friend, a partner or spouse, a family member, or a therapist. Whoever it is, make sure they truly understand how you feel and hopefully they can be the support you need as you forgive yourself.