Yesterday at work I found myself thinking that all the staff were treating me like I was a moron. Or literally thinking it. I was already under the weather, battling the remnants of a flu that had been passed through our workplace, and how my part timers, and full timers, and everyone who had a position below mine seemed out to get me. (In reality it wasn’t really everyone but a few people did seem to doubt me; I also don’t want it to seem like I am all high and mighty with my position, sometimes I don’t know things that full timers and part timers do know, which is fine because we all get to learn, but in these particular circumstances I did know the answers to their problems). The end result was me feeling useless and backing off giving direction.
Image from: http://fangirlish.com/5-reasons-tell-self-doubt-fuck-off/
Self-doubt doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with chronic pain. Anxiety does, which can add to the self doubt. But truth be told, everyone experiences moments where they don’t think they are good enough, or pretty enough, or smart enough, and the list can go on and on. The thing is, this that most of the time, this self doubt is just in our heads and isn’t reality. We have to get out of our heads to see it. Am I the best writer in the world? Probably not. But am I reaching at least one person with chronic pain with this blog? I most likely am. It’s remembering the small things in your life that you know, without a doubt you are good at that’s important. It’s looking at that picture of yourself and realizing that you are beautiful, inside and out. It’s looking at that test score or solving that weird life hack problem no one else could and remembering that you are smart.
Image from: https://medium.com/@Dontgiveup/motivational-cartoon-on-self-doubt-b0fd8714e5a2
As for my work day yesterday, later in the afternoon I solved numerous problems for two of my managers, and had a full timer come to me for help and answers to questions. I’m not a moron, and I know that. Self doubt is normal, but remember, that doesn’t mean that voice in your head is telling you the truth.