I always have a million topic ideas in my head (well technically I write them down on Stickies because I don’t want to forget them) but I often end up going with something currently relevant to me because, well, it just makes more sense to. As I’ve mentioned before, in addition to fibromyalgia (and maybe lupus) I also have a tear of the anterior labrum (hip) – I’ll throw in a picture of what that looks like). This tear is brutal. Initially my rheumatologist told me that it could be taken care of with physio and if that doesn’t work, then surgery. She asked me if I’d like a referral to the surgeon, to which I said yes. This was March 2020. About a week before Covid-19 really went for it and we started shutting everything down, including “elective” surgeries (because is a surgery that will take away pain really elective?).
Image from: https://eorthopod.com/labral-tears-of-the-hip/
Anyway, the pain has normally been around a 7 in my hip. I’ve been doing physio (virtual) since the end of March and while my physiotherapist is amazing (check out my podcast), it also doesn’t really seem to be helping with this particular problem. Fast forward to last week Thursday when I leaned against a counter at work while I was talking to my boss… and I happened to learn right against the tear. Talk about excruciating pain running down my entire leg – hip to ankle! But I sucked it up and stayed at work and powered through. The pain now around an 8.
Even with pain at an 8 I can still enjoy the great outdoors (Niagara on the Lake, Ontario)
Fast forward to Monday, when I’m doing my normal hardcore workout. It’s an upper body one, so I’m not too concerned because my hip is normally fine on these workouts (sometimes I have to adjust lower body and full body workouts to accommodate my hip). Well, as I moved to get out a position, I heard and felt a “pop.” This seemed like my hip popped in and out of place (though upon some research I read that’s not really a thing that happens, so I’m not sure what exactly happened). Now the pain is a 9. I went to work Monday and Tuesday, and then got a doctor’s note for a week off from today (Wednesday) through next Wednesday.
Spike is a good nurse.
So how can I still smile and laugh through all of this? First of all, that’s not always easy. I have to frequently change my position (standing, sitting, walking, lying) in order to feel comfortable because I can’t really be in any of them for too long. At the end of the day though, I can sit and feel sorry for myself (or be hard on myself because technically it’s my own fault it got worse) or I can (a) be productive and constantly call the hospital to see if they can do this type of surgery now, and (b) realize that pain, even chronic pain, is a temporary sensation. I can do meditations that focus on physical pain (which I did this morning), I can write a blog post, I can rest, and I can still have a life with this, because the other option is to not and I refuse to do that.
Upo reserch, this is the type of surgery that needs to be done. Image from: https://orthoinfo.aaos.org/en/diseases–conditions/slap-tears/
How are you all feeling about your pain today?
Also, if you haven’t yet checked out my podcast – Chronically Living and how to make the most of it (Apple Podcasts and Spotify), the latest episode is on Pelvic Health. I would really appreciate some reviews and ratings for it (plus I have a little promotion going for that – see my Instagram @janeversuspain for more details).